Paul Blart: Mall Cop
According to boxofficemojo.com Paul Blart: Mall Cop has made 128 million dollars.
128 Million Dollars!
You know what movie has made more money this year?
None.
It’s the top movie of the entire year.
I went to see Paul Blart today. Walked out after 60 minutes. I haven’t walked out of a movie in two years.
Why was it bad?
1) It’s not funny
I laughed more during the trailer for Monsters Vs. Aliens
2) It’s got poor production value
It looks like a straight to DVD production.
3) It pats itself on the back for an out-of-left-field “twist” that has zero to no impact
Paul Blart is no Usual Suspects.
4) It’s villains are randomly X-Games rejects
Why? This makes no sense that I could discern.
5) Adam Ferrara is forced to play it straight
In the 60 minutes I withstood Ferrara, a hilarious comic, was forced to play a straight role as a cop. Why? For his incredible acting? No offense to Ferrara but I think even he would say he’s better as a comic than a dramatic actor.
6) It made Kevin James a star, but in a sad way
Kevin James is a hilarious stand-up comic and often a funny bit player in movies, not to mention King of Queens is a great sitcom. But this movie is terrible and will be a bad mark on his career, particularly as a “breakthrough” role.
In short, I don’t get it, America.
Does anyone else understand this?
-Dan Benamor